anti twilight movement, 99balloons

I'm So Fucking Ambitious... guy friend gave me the advice that I should look outside my college for guys. Which he is right because...let's face it, the majority of the guys at my school are gay or taken.

Here is the the list on where I'll be checking:

Northeastern University**
Boston University**
Harvard University*
Mass. College of Pharmacy

That's it for now.

* Hahaha, yeah it's a stretch but it's worth a try.
** Most likely will be visiting these two.
anti twilight movement, 99balloons


God, I've never had great experiences with doctors. Especially when it comes to my crooked spine.

I went today to get checked up because my mother insists that it's only gotten worse. I went to the doctor (and for the first time, without either parent near me) and the friggin' nurse and doctor's aide kept on asking me if I have pain. I tell them that I don't...about ten times I tell them. I don't get why my mom wants me to go, I don't get why people keep on asking me if I'm dying of pain because my back is crooked. I'm fine. There's the occasional tenderness but nothing so painful that I feel like I'm about to snap in two or die. Why must people insist I'm in pain? I'm not. I don't get why my mom is so worried. My doctor told things would be fine. I may get arthritis later in life and my offspring should probably get tested (and my list on why I don't want kids just keeps on growing). Other than that, he said there's not much I can do. God. I could call again and think about getting an upgrade on my home exercises but at the moment...I am just not too sure. I probably should. I should have done that...but I'm just going to sit and think for a bit before I make a decision. I'll call the office on Tuesday probably...I don't know.

I just hate doctors.
anti twilight movement, 99balloons

The Coming of...the end of my life?

Yesterday, the teaser trailer for Deathly Hallows was released and something hit me...really hard. As soon as the teaser trailer was over, I realized something. As soon as I finish watching the final movie it's done for sure. It was bad enough when I finished the book and then realizing that the clock was ticking. As soon as this is over, there really is not much left. Sure there's the theme park and I'll still play Quidditch the next three years or so but's over.

My adolescence will officially end when I finish watching part two of Deathly Hallows. There's not much to look forward to. The Harry Potter series basically grew up with me and the rest of the people from my generation. Once that's over, we're done with being teenagers by then. Everything is just ending, Toy Story 3 was the official closing to my childhood (Although a friend of mine insists that it's not, pssh little does she understand). And now Harry Potter is ending, what do I do now?

I'll tell you.

My life won't just stop and stay that way. What will happen is that I will continue the awesomeness that was childhood through my career and it will go on until I die. Yes, intense but it is true. My life won't be completely over. Because I realized that I will always go back to the books, the movies and now the theme park is here to stay.

Life has a funny way of things working out and putting themselves into place. I've learned that a lot these past six months especially.

Life is just funny that way.
anti twilight movement, 99balloons

Plan: Backfired plan of avoiding men as more than friends for the summer has sorta backfired...but I dunno, it's just harder than what it seems. I don't feel like dating someone but yet deep down I have this yearning for something more. I felt like mush yesterday as I cried myself to sleep a bit and I know I shouldn't. I can do better than this. I shouldn't let this get into me. I feel weak, I shouldn't. I'm just going a bit insane right now and I really feel like I have no one to talk to. I want to get closer to my mom but at the same time I am hesitant. I can't trust her, deep down I just can't even if she is my mother. I feel like she wouldn't understand any of it. I emailed the counselor I saw during my first year at college, she hasn't responded with anything at all. Gahhh! Sometimes, I just don't know what to do anymore.

I feel helpless. Does anyone want to listen to me? Anyone?

[/emo post]
  • Current Location
anti twilight movement, 99balloons

Well, My Week Has Been Eventful

So...this past week has been so eventful. A lot happened.

For starters, I finally got the router from my ISP so now my home has a wi-fi network (locked of course). I was really excited to finally get legit internet back in my life. But once I said that I spoke too soon, turns out...the guy I liked (and went out with one time) now has a girlfriend. Second time it happens to me, I like a guy and just when I think I have him...BAM! But here's the catch (if that's what you would call it) I wasn't that upset. Sure, I was bummed at first but then I realized something...

I should take a break from men this summer. I don't need to date. I've gone through enough heartbreak the past months. I need it. I need to focus on planning the semester ahead. So...screw men for the time being, I have other things to do.

Other than that, I've been pretty busy with my summer classes at community college. I am taking two gen eds so I don't have to take it at my college. Yesterday, I went to go see Toy Story 3 and didn't...why? All evening tickets were sold out. So I went this morning and the theater got filled with people. I have not seen that many people in a movie theater since The Dark Knight (as far as I can recall, man I'm getting old). I saw the movie...and cried like a baby. I felt like I officially lost my childhood. I had already seen the first 60 or so minutes of the movie at my college and I cried around the five minute mark the first time. This time to see the completed project...around the two minute mark. And I cried again during the last ten minutes of the film. As of now, I'm listening to the songs from almost all the films and being nostalgic.

That's it for updates right now kiddies. I'll chat with all of you later :)
  • Current Music
    Toy Story Soundtracks
anti twilight movement, 99balloons

Life Now

Life's been good.

I haven't updated with legit post but here goes nothing. I successfully completed my first year at college and I hope to keep that up and finish! Things have been going so well, I'm living with the friends I have made this past year next semester and in the new dorm building. I am just so excited. Home has been good to me so far and I hope this keeps up. I'm going to Orlando in a few days and I'm glad to take a bit of a break.

That's all I have for now, I may type later.
anti twilight movement, 99balloons


I've been thinking a lot lately about why.

Why are people friends with me? What to men see on me? What to people see in me in general? Why?

I feel like I'm going insane again but at the same time I need to remind myself that there is something that people like about me. I dunno if I can pinpoint it but there is something. I just don't know what. I am just confused...I am just curious.
anti twilight movement, 99balloons


So I'm basically back home for almost a month and it has been a while since I last updated here. Here's the rundown on what has happened to me in the past month (or better yet semester):

-Made my first video
-Survived my first semester at college
-Got over the douchebag
-Made some awesome friends
-Had some pretty awesome/challenging classes.
-And a whole lot more from where that came from.

That's all I have to say for now and I'll update after the holiday. So all I'll say now is HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! :D
anti twilight movement, 99balloons

Hello World

So here I am at Logan Airport anxiously awaiting my flight that boards in four hours and I feel tired. I was the last one in my suite to leave to go home for Thanksgiving. It felt really weird, it was just more quiet than usual. It was really weird. And I fell asleep on the couch in our common room and it felt weird. I wanna sleep right now in the seat of the waiting room I'm in but I'm afraid I won't wake up but I think I will go to sleep as soon as I'm done with this journal entry.

My life has just been consumed by college life. Other than that, I love college, it's awesome despite all the homework I get and the homework I got for Thanksgiving break >_< but oh well when I get back I only have three weeks left and then I go back home for a whole month. It's freakingly insane. Oh god, it's so foggy outside. I feel tired. I think I'm taking a quick nap right now. Until then, I'll post another entry about my journey home.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired
anti twilight movement, 99balloons


 So I apparently haven't updated in five weeks. 

Just goes to show you how much college life has consumed me alive. This upcoming week is pretty hectic but I'm pretty sure I'll make it through alive and all well. Since I have Veteran's Day off on Wednesday I'm basically making that my homework day. And a majority of this weekend will be spent on my big Stills and Audio Project that's due a week from today. Which I have a few pictures and I know what I want to do's not really finalized. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be in a movie next weekend and I sure hope so because my resume needs to have something for next semester so I can start climbing that ladder.

Other than that Halloween was pretty awesome. I was Tonks from Harry Potter and I trick or treated near John Kerry's house but I didn't see him. Oh well, there's always next time right. I really cannot wait to get home for the holidays, my mom reserved my copy of UP and I'm really excited. Yesterday I went to a free screening of the new George Clooney movie 'Up in the Air' which I thought was hilarious. It's from the same director as 'Juno' but I thought 'Up in the Air' was a better movie. I also met the director and it was pretty sweet. 

Well that's it for now, I may not update until Thanksgiving.